Free: 5 Recipes Even a Moron Can't Mess Up

The cookbook for people that just want to eat.

The Moron Cookbook by J. P. Moron. Basic baking for people who burn water. Get 5 free recipes instantly, or grab the full book on Amazon.

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5 recipes so easy, a literal moron wrote them. Click below to view (and save as PDF).

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The cookbook that doesn't judge you

Most cookbooks assume you already know what "fold gently" means, or that you own a zester. The Moron Cookbook assumes nothing.

It's for the person who burns water. The one who Googles "is butter the same as margarine." The one who orders takeout because boiling pasta feels ambitious.

And it's becoming a series. Because there are a lot of us.

How to Boil Water (Yes, Really)
1. Get a pot. The big round thing.
2. Turn on the faucet. Put water in the pot.
3. Put the pot on the stove. Turn the burner on high.
4. Wait. When it bubbles aggressively, that's boiling.
5. Congratulations. You are now a chef.
Pro tip: Do not put your hand in the water to check.

What's inside the book

40+ recipes that assume you know absolutely nothing. Which, based on your Google history, is accurate.

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Breads & Loaves

Banana bread, beer bread, and several things that are technically bread if you squint hard enough.

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Brownies & Bars

Fudgy, cakey, and "I just threw chocolate at a pan." All valid. All delicious.

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Muffins

Muffins are just cupcakes pretending to be healthy. We lean into that energy.

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Pancakes & Waffles

Breakfast food that makes you look like you have your life together. You don't. But they don't need to know.

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Cookies

Chocolate chip, peanut butter, oatmeal. The holy trinity of "I baked something" bragging rights.

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Moron Tips

Every recipe comes with survival tips. Like "don't use a metal bowl in the microwave." You'd be surprised.

Ready to stop being a moron in the kitchen?

The Moron Cookbook has everything you need to go from "I eat cereal for dinner" to "I made this." Available now on Amazon.

$13.99
Paperback
5.0 ⭐
Amazon Rating
Prime
Eligible
Get It on Amazon Paperback · Kindle coming soon